So just how many people does it take?

We’ve all heard the “how many X does it take to Y” jokes with blondes oror graduates from a rival college. This time, the X stands for “move facilitators” and the Y stands for “get 2 people from Houston to Norway.” And, unfortunately, the joke’s on us.

As of today, we have the following persons assigned to our case: three HR associates (one in Houston, one in Norway, and one in Buenos Aires – for good measure), two relocation experts, one title expert, one US realtor, and one Norwegian housing expert. For those of you who aren’t good with math, that’s 8. So, by my calculations, the relocation process employs four individuals for each relocating person. That almost qualifies it as a pyramid scheme.

Despite what you might think, the number of “experts” associated with one’s case does not equate to faster results. Just the opposite. If you think it’s difficult to get information from your single HR associate, imagine this scenario: you ask number one a question and she says “oh, that’s not my job” and sends you to number two. Number two says “no, that’s not me” and sends you to number three. Number three says “they’re mistaken, it’s definitely number one.” It’s like an Abbott and Costello routine, except much less funny.

This process first started in April and officially got underway by mid-May. It’s now a handful of days away from July and we’re no closer to being in Norway. The saying goes that slow and steady wins the race. Hopefully that will be the case here, and we’ll get to Norway in time to enjoy it before Mike’s Seasonal Affective Disorder kicks in or Erin keels over from another triple digit Houston summer day.

The house hunt

8am – 9am:   Mike quietly works on computer, sips coffee, watches Cooper, etc…

9:01am: Erin is up

9:02am: Mike is now working on computer 2% of time and listening to descriptions of Stavanger houses 97% of the time.  1% is given to Cooper.

Erin settles on the same two houses she was charmed by for the last several weeks (WE SHOULD REQUEST THESE SIGHT-UNSEEN!!!) and is appalled anew by the bathrooms and decor in several recent www.finn.no postings.  This is not surprising, as the Stavanger market isn’t necessarily a hotbed of activity, and many of the Norwegian tastes don’t really jive with Erin’s —  Mike is unclear whether the Norwegians haven’t been brainwashed by HGTV, or if Erin needs cultural sensitivity training.  For those keeping score at home, here are the frontrunners for “most appalling”:

• Outrageous bathroom 1
• No need for furnishings or decorations
• Is this Norwegian for ‘bookshelf’ ?

The “most ideal” house has 5 bedrooms and a wicked view.  Mike thinks it is likely above his pay grade allowance.